non est vivere sed valere vita est

sigillum_veri @ 2008-04-26T18:17:00

2008-04-26T22:31:21Z

The fairest Home I ever knew
Was founded in an Hour
By Parties also that I knew
A spider and a Flower
A manse of mechlin and of Floes

-- Emily Dickinson

So, finals. They usually end up being easier than I expect, but I still can't help but fret over them. Or maybe it's my obsessive worrying that's making the finals easier? Whatever. My logic probably fails at the moment.

I went home yesterday, stayed for a night and came back. I'm not sure what prompted me to visit home, especially since I'm going to spend a greater majority of my summer vacation there, but...I kind of miss home. Even if my father is still trying to lure me into taking over, mother still wants to set me up with girls, and Eiri still acts like he's five. It's nice, knowing that there always going to be one place where you fit in.

Anyhow, it's time to drag my butt to work. The tourists have been acting up more than usual lately. Must be the summer air. ~~Almost makes me want to borrow a katana from someone. But I guess I'll stick to using my English textbook as my weapon for now.~~

I ADORE France

2008-04-18T20:37:24Z

So all that "French" food I had at the conventions? Yeah. Absolutely nothing like the food I'm getting in France. Seriously, this is amazing. I honestly don't think I've ever gone on a better vacation - ever: the people here are lovely, the food is out of this world, and Jirou is wonderful to travel with.

Yesterday I saw these precious glass miniature replicas of the Eiffel Tower that one of the street vendors were trying to get rid of, so I got a whole bunch of those to bring to people for souvenirs. So Wakato? You didn't have to demand a gift, okay~?

One question, though: Is it really so awkward for me to use vous with the little kids I see running around the hotel? I mean, I don't want to seem rude by using the tu forms, but they keep shooting me weird looks. Or it might just be my Japanese-accented French that's throwing them off?

Jirou, stop worrying about the flight back. Relax and enjoy, okay? ~~Just don't say "please go down" this time, and I think we'll be just fine.~~

I think that getting away from Japan has really helped Jirou. He seems less tense and more the way he was back before everything crashed down and he changed. The bitterness is no longer apparent. I truly hope that his attitude will stay that way when we return. I miss sweet, sweet Jirou. I really do. I know I would love him no matter what, but seeing him trying to be someone he's not hurts.

In other news, though, I finally heard back from Eiri. His ex? Not pregnant with his kid. Turns out that she’d been sleeping around the whole time. I don't know whether I want to be relieved or angry. In any case, my parents have explicitly requested that I go back home after the dorms close. I would have, regardless of whether or not they asked. My mother playing matchmaker can be irritating, and my father's obsession with wanting me to inherit his business drives me up the wall, but they're my family. And I do love them.

Stage Two

2008-04-11T18:30:28Z

Next time I go clubbing, I'm dragging someone with me. I mean, leather pants? I didn't even know I had leather pants. Besides, the hangover was pretty awful.

Stage one was definitely better. Feeling listless and empty is definitely better than stage two's pure monstrosity. Oh, God. There are going to be some people I can't look in the face for a while. Just a feeling I get.

Jirou? I love you, dear.

I guess I'm just a Jyousei Shounan whore. Just broke up with their buchou and hooked up with fukubuchou two days later. This is a complete disaster. Stage two is supposed to be the "get drunk and wasted and wake up next to someone you don't know." It wasn't supposed to be get half-drunk and fool around with someone you do know. And the way I was just begging that orange fluffball to kiss me...There is no way I can ever look at anyone on their team in the eye ever again.

I mean, honestly, I knew he was still totally head-over-heels in love with Kajimoto and I still asked him to kiss me. I guess I just wanted to have a taste of something spicy, something hot, something I haven't tasted in years. I got what I asked for, but it hurt. God only knows why, but it did. But all's good. Getting hurt due to one's own stupidity is a lot better than getting hurt by someone else's cruelty, isn't it?

Last night was a complete sprint down memory lane. It was like I was sixteen and didn't know what the hell I was doing. I mean, who am I to throw people against walls? That was so...five years ago. The Taki now wouldn't do that...But I did. The way he challenged me drove me insane and made my brain lose all control of my body and my actions. That'll teach me to drink next time. How stupid am I, exactly? A voice replies, "Very," and I think I agree.

Over

2008-04-09T00:02:05Z

Even though I was the one to bring up the break up, it hurts. I guess in a break up, no matter who originally thought to bring it up, it will always hurt.

Now that it’s over, I really wonder what I’ve been doing the month and a half I’ve been with him. Nothing, to be honest. Aside from a few kisses, we’ve been no more than friends who hang out together. Neither of us suggested a one-month anniversary dinner. I thought briefly of asking Hisa about it, but…I couldn’t. It was like I couldn’t talk about anything without fear of being turned down. It shouldn’t be that way.

Hm. I should probably thank Wakato for this. If it hadn’t been for the conversation I had yesterday with him, I might have never realized the thing that was making me suffer so much in the relationship I had with Hisa. While Wakato could claim that he loved Hisa so easily, when I tried, the words got stuck in my mouth. I couldn’t say them. It didn’t hit me until I was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, why I couldn’t say them. I couldn’t say the words because I didn’t mean them.

It’s ridiculous, really, when I start thinking about it. I can’t even remember why Hisa and I agreed to go out anymore...I just know that there was something about his perfection and that pretty face that so intrigued me. When I asked Hisa why he agreed to date me, he said he didn’t know. It’s just as well.

HIsa wasn’t—isn’t—what I need. I need someone with a big enough heart for everything that now makes me…well, me. And…I don’t think he has that. He’s wonderful, he is, but he just seems like he’s a million miles away on some cloud I will never, ever be able to reach no matter how hard I try…And, until this morning, I’d been willing to try. But not anymore.

I need a man who'll take a chance,
On a love that burns hot enough to last.
So when the night falls,
My lonely heart calls.

A man who’ll take a chance…On a love that burns hot enough to last, huh, Whitney? You’re so funny.

It's over.

I think I'll be at home for the next few days if anyone needs me. It'll be good to be home, I think.

Edit: Never mind. I can barely drag myself to class, much less home.

Eiri and I are related...? Really?

2008-04-04T23:43:10Z

Don't expect much, I'm warped and twisted
Burnt out, wasted, empty, and hollow
Today's just yesterday's tomorrow
The sun died out, the ashes sifted
I'm still here, warped and twisted.

I told Eiri that moving in with his girlfriend was going to end in disaster. Did he believe me? No. Of course not.

Now he’s in hell. And I can’t fish him out of it. He got the girl pregnant. It really makes me wonder if Eiri and I are really related.

I’ll probably have to actually go up to Tokyo this time. Both families think the other is at fault, and they’re about at each other’s throats with daggers.

Please. Just shoot me now.

Meme

2008-04-03T22:07:20Z

1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?

If it's just once...I think I would be okay with it. Anyone who can accept my past deserves for me to accept their mistakes as well, I think.

2. What will you do if you do not share the same feelings as the person who likes you?

Depends on who it is, really. But if it were a friend and if I were single, I would probably try to keep an open mind about it.

3. If you could hang out with someone famous for a day, who would it be?

I think I'd like to go back in time and talk to Frederick Douglass for one day. Might be interesting to not just read material out of a textbook, which are, without fail, biased.

4. Are you confused as to what lies ahead of you?

Absolutely. Generally, I don't take not knowing what's before me very well, but I think I'm okay with it at this very point in my life.

5. What's your ideal lover like?

Could I give a name for this one?

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone else?

I think that these two go hand in hand. Sometimes it's so hard to feel blessed when you love someone and your love is unrequited or you're loved by someone and you just don't feel the same way. When you're loved and being loved at the same time...It's incredible. That's when you feel truly blessed.

7. If the person you like does not accept you, would you continue to wait for them to change their feelings?

...I've been through that...and it really wasn't that he didn't accept me as much that he just seemed a million miles away at that point. But I did wait.

8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?

I've been through this one, too, and...Just come clean with whomever that person's dating, really, if it's a friend. Chances are that it's not going to be a big deal.

9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy recently?

~~Yes.~~ ~~No.~~ ~~Maybe.~~ ~~No.~~ Yes.

10. What do you want most in life?

~~To have Sakura back.~~

11.Do you think mankind is inherently evil?

Of course not. I like to believe that everyone was born kind and that everyone is kind. It's just that sometimes wishes of evil come through to the top to overshadow that kindness.

12.Put your iPod/media player/whatever on shuffle. List the first five songs that come up.

1. I Have Nothing - Whitney Houston
2. Allegro in D - Vivaldi
3. Eine Klein Natchtmusik - Mozart
4. All By Myself - Celine Dion
5. Life is Like a Boat - Rie Fu

(Personally, I blame the lack of Japanese music on my aunt who keeps stuffing American CDs at me. Ah, well. ^_^)

13. Who is currently the most important person to you?

There are so many people who are important to me. It's hard to choose.

14. Who did you dream of last night?

Nothing. I don't really have dreams anymore.

15. Would you rather be single and rich or married and poor?

Depends, really. If it's someone I truly love and would want to spend the rest of my life with, I would travel to Canada to get married and being poor would be okay. It's not a big deal.

16. If the person you secretly like cannot recognize you, what would you do/how would you react?

...Go into a deep state of depression? ^_^;; Just joking. I'd probably just remind him or something.

17. Would you give your all in a relationship?

That would depend on whether he would be willing to take my all. But honestly? There are some things in my life I would never give to any relationship. That's just how it is.

18. If you fall in love with two persons simultaneously, who would you pick?

The one I think I can end well with.

19.What type of friends do you like?

My current set of friends is awesome. They're exactly the type of friend I love.

20.If you played a prank on someone, and he/she fell for the trick, what would you do?

I...don't generally play a lot of pranks?

A. List 7 facts/quirks/habits of yours.

1. The roots of my hair are not naturally that dark. I dye it.
2. In the second grade play, due to an insufficiency of female students, I had to play a female part as a butterfly fairy...wand and tutu and all. It was humiliating.
3. I have never been clubbing.
4. I love to play go. And shogi. Stop laughing.
5. I have no sense of music. I can recite Eiri's music theory books backwards, but I cannot apply them for the life of me.
6. My lips are actually naturally so pale and dry that I have to put on light pink lip balm to make them look relatively normal.
7. I actually do secretly have a tattoo. No one knows where it is, no one knows what it's of, and I'm not telling. ^_^

It's pathetic. Won't any of these teachers assign more homework? All this time is driving me insane, and it's making me anxious for no apparent reason.

Hisa - Good luck tonight! I'll be there~

-_-

2008-03-29T13:09:26Z

The jerks at work should
Just go to hell, go to hell,
And stay there, always.

According to the guys at work, I am

a) a defenseless girl who cannot protect "herself" from the big, bad tourists of Osaka,

b) a mentally disturbed kid who needs a new haircut, and

c) a twenty-one-year-old who apparently has the comportment of a crabby eighty-year-old.

Well, thanks. Really.

Cat Allergies

2008-03-23T21:00:21Z

So apparently I have not grown out of my cat allergies as much as I thought I have….Which became evident when I passed out on the way to the hospital after visiting Kevin and his cat. I suppose I should be more careful about who I visit now to prevent myself from landing in the hospital again. I mean, by merely being exposed to a cat, my throat completely closed up, my eyes watered like a fountain, and I hacked out a lung and a half. I can only imagine what would happen if I were to ever touch a cat.

I shudder at the thought.

Kevin – I don’t know how much you remember of yesterday ~~since you were so obviously wasted~~, but I apologize for dragging you to the hospital with me. I hope you got home okay. I mean, I think I was delirious my brain being starved of oxygen, so I wasn’t sure what I was thinking. ~~Although, had you not straddled me to the ground, I would have escaped sooner and not passed out.~~

Hisa – Thank you for picking me up at the hospital this morning. I’m sorry for calling you so early in the morning, though. Did I interrupt your sleep?

sigillum_veri @ 2008-03-21T20:21:00

2008-03-22T00:24:44Z

Because I'm desperate to find something to do:

Everyone has things they blog about. Everyone has things they don't blog about. Challenge me out of my comfort zone by telling me something I don't blog about, but you'd like to hear about, and I'll write a post about it. Ask for anything: latest movie watched, last book read, political leanings, favourite type of underwear, etc.

I'll probably make a real entry later when I'm bored and not pissed off.

sigillum_veri @ 2008-03-13T20:28:00

2008-03-14T00:33:38Z

Cold in the earth -- and the deep snow piled above thee,
Far, far removed, cold in the dreary grave!
Have I forgot, my only Love, to love thee,
Severed at last by Time's all-severing wave?

Now, when alone, do my thoughts no longer hover
Over the mountains, on that northern shore,
Resting their wings where heath and fern leaves cover
Thy noble heart forever, ever more?

Cold in the earth -- and fifteen wild Decembers,
From those brown hills, have melted into spring;
Faithful, indeed, is the spirit that remembers
After such years of change and suffering!

Sweet Love of youth, forgive, if I forget thee,
While the world's tide is bearing me along;
Other desires and other hopes beset me,
Hopes which obscure, but cannot do thee wrong!

No later light has lightened up my heaven,
No second morn has ever shone for me;
All my life's bliss from thy dear life was given,
All my life's bliss is in the grave with thee.

But, when the days of golden dreams had perished,
And even Despair was powerless to destroy,
Then did I learn how existence could be cherished,
Strengthened, and fed without the aid of joy.

Then did I check the tears of useless passion --
Weaned my young soul from yearning after thine;
Sternly denied its burning wish to hasten
Down to that tomb already more than mine.

And, even yet, I dare not let it languish,
Dare not indulge in memory's rapturous pain;
Once drinking deep of that divinest anguish,
How could I seek the empty world again?

Jirou, please refrain from sneaking into my room in the middle of the night with a video camera ever again as tempting as it maybe be, I'm sure~ I do sincerely hope that you're planning on destroying the evidence.

Is anyone free to help a dying soul next weekend? i'm leading this one-hundred-person tour around Osaka, and I will be needing an assistant to help me manage the crazy tourists. =P

Meme

2008-03-12T22:57:59Z

I decided to jump on the meme bandwagon. It looks fun. ^_^ Besides, I'm completely and insanely bored.

1. Spell my name as it sounds: Ta-kee

2. Am I a worrier? Ever since senior high school, the world's worries have become my worries.

3. What’s my favorite CD? A mix CD my aunt from America made for me.

4. Favorite colour(s)? Brown

5. Does my home have an attic? My parent's home does.

6. Have I ever been to Canada? The Hyoutei ski trips were always to Canada, and I do occasionally

7. Have I ever gone fishing? If only I were patient enough...

8. Have I ever seen a celebrity? Don't think so...Unless you count rich, bald men as celebrities.

9. Have I ever been on a motorcycle? Once. Never again. I lost both of my contacts on the ride.

10. How much money do I have on me right now? I usually don't carry around a lot of cash, so probably around one thousand yen?

11. How many cars have I owned? Two.

12. How many jobs have I had? Two.

13. How tall am I? 172 cm.

14. Last person to call me: My boss.

15. Last thing I yelled out loud: "Please keep your hands and feet within the vehicle at all times." It's the wonderful thing about being a tour guide.

16. Last person I was in a car with: Drunken tourist. Had to drive the idiot back to her hotel because she was wasted and had no money on hand.

17. Last time I ate at McDonald’s: I've never eaten at McDonald's.

18. Last thing I bought: Hair dye.

19. Last person I saw: Bike messenger guy. (I didn't even know we have one of those on campus.)

20. Last time I cried: I don't cry. ~~Much.~~

21. Last time I laughed: A couple of minutes ago when I was reading through my Chinese textbook. Some words in Chinese sound awkward spoken with a Japanese accent – let’s just leave it at that.

22. What is the temperature outside? A lot colder than I would prefer.

23. What time of the day did I get married? Not married yet. Probably never will be.

24. What did I do two nights ago? If I told you, I’d have to kill you.

25. Whose birthday is coming up next? I’m not sure, actually. Whose birthday is coming up anyway?

26. What time did I go to bed last night? One or two in the morning.

27. What was the first thing I thought this morning? “What’s that stupid buzzing?”

28. What are my plans for this weekend? Studying?

29. Lemonade or iced tea? Iced tea.

30. What do I dislike at this moment? No one. ~~Mizuki.~~

31. What did I dream about last night? I had a dream where I was a maid of Guinevere – as in King Arthur and Guinevere . It was pretty weird.

32. What’s the last TV show I watched? I don’t watch a lot of TV.

33. What is my favorite piece of jewelry? I try to wear any pieces of jewelry. I just keep a lot of rubber bands on my wrist for defense.

34. Am I a dancer? Yes. Everyone is a dancer. Deep, deep down inside.

35. Have I ever cut my own hair? Yes. I tried to cut my hair using a bowl to make sure it was even, which is difficult when said bowl impedes my vision.

36. What is my favorite treat? Cake. But only with Ayaka-chan.

37. How many piercings/tattoos do I have? None.

38. Where’s my favorite place to be? The ocean.

39. Is there someone I haven’t seen in a while and miss? Yes. I miss a lot of people from junior and senior high school.

40. Who was the last text I sent to? I don’t get text messaging. Most pieces of modern technology completely lose me.

41. Do I care what strangers think about me? No. Should I?

42. Last person I talked to on Instant Messenger: Hmm…Don’t remember.

43. Last person to make me cry: No comment.

44. Who can I tell anything to? No comment.

45. What am I doing tomorrow? Tour guiding my religious group.

46. Do I have alcohol in my home? Never.

47. Do I like ketchup? Yes.

48. Do I think I will be on a vacation this summer? I need one.

49. What color is my master bathroom? At Tokyo, or…?

50. Do I wear a bikini at the beach? Um…no? Should I ever start?

51. Have I ever been to the Grand Canyon? Several times with my aunt

52. What is my favorite fruit? Bananas.

53. What did I really want to do today? See Kaji.

54. Am I always cold? No. Although I am a little bit cold right now…

55. Does it annoy me when someone says they’ll call or text, but don’t? I suppose. People generally call when they tell me they’re going to, though.

Ice Skating

2008-03-08T23:28:27Z

I had so much fun ice skating with everyone today. A big thank you to those who came! I hope you all had a good time!

It's really been a while since I've genuined enjoyed myself this much. Perhaps I should try group outings more often.

On quite a different note, Eiri called. The connection was pretty awful in the rink, but I think something's wrong. I think I'd better call back.

Zzzzzzzz...

2008-03-07T21:37:21Z

Tired beyond words. I think everyone and anyone would be pooped after...

1. Almost getting run over by morning bikers (Are they crazy? It's seven in the morning!),

2. Getting attacked by a random kid in lobby for candy (Do I look like Santa Clause?),

3. Taking Ayaka-chan to the dentist,

4. Getting hit on by female hygenist,

5. Getting hit on by male tourist (I do not look like a girl),

6. Burning myself after touching the oven sans gloves, and

7. Washing my hair with what turned out to be face wash.

BUT I DON'T CARE ABOUT ANY OF THAT~ I am just happy beyond words that the psychiatrist I went to see today completely disproved my doctor's theory about my suffering from clinical depression! This alone deserves a celebration~

How ADORABLE!!!

2008-02-29T22:06:01Z

Oh. WOW. I just met the world's most ADORABLE child. She's like everything pure and good packed into one, charming, charming angel of a kid. Her name is Ayaka, and she is my communications professor's daughter. If I asked to adopt his child, how well do you think that'd go over withhim I mean, I wouldn't mind if I even just adopted her as my sister...

Ahem. So anyways, I think I need to calm down. I haven't had sugar in a while, and the cake I shared with Ayaka has totally put me on a sugar high. ^_^

Does anyone want to come ice skating next Saturday? Offer's still open to anyone who wants to come!

Happy birthday to Fuji-kun!

Kajimoto - Some of the things you said concerned me a little. I actually do think your professor has a point, up to a certain extent.

Jirou - Drag your butt over here. I haven't seen you in what seems like forever. I mean, you're at risk for being replaced as the adorable younger sibling in my heart now that I found Ayaka~

She's so much like Sakura. So much like her.

Women's underwear is not sanitary...

2008-02-24T13:06:09Z

Oh, dear God. If there is one. I was flipping through some of my stuff from Hyoutei that I brought along with me, and I found a pair of women's underwear. How? I don't even want to know. I mean, why can't these girls seem to understand that stuffing their undergarments at a guy does not make them seem attractive? Now, time to sterilize my hands...Again...

On a less disturbing note, does anyone want to go ice skating? We never got to go last time because of some last-minute emergencies, but if schedules permit, I'd like to gather a bunch of people to go next Saturday or maybe the Saturday after that. Any takers? ^_^

By the by, does anyone want to play a game of tennis with me? I mean, I haven't played competitively in about six years - only against Eiri - but I think I want to play again. I'm not sure why, though. Maybe it's just the good mood.

Kajimoto - Have you figured out when you're available for lunch yet?

Jirou - I have a gift for you. I saw it on a tour, and I just couldn't resist. It just reminded me so much of you.

Kaidoh-kun - Sorry about Thursday. I made a mess, didn't I? I apologize for any inconvenience it may have caused you.

sigillum_veri @ 2008-02-22T07:02:00

2008-02-22T12:09:33Z

I apologize to anyone who saw my last entry. It is locked now; it was supposed to be locked to begin with. Those thoughts were intended to be private thoughts, and I apologize to anyone to saw that.

Ryou - I'm sorry you had to see that. I'm okay now.

Kajimoto - I'm sorry. You really would have found out either way, but reading it through a post that was directed at myself wasn't the best way. I'm sorry.

Kevin - I apologize. And yes, I did need aspirin in the morning, but it wasn't awful because I'd at least remembered to drink lots of water before passing out.

Stupid, stupid Taki

2008-02-22T00:46:38Z

Edit: LOCKED AS OF 7:01:46 AM

Bile is sour. And gross. And why did it seem like a good idea at the time to try to numb the grimy touch of my ex-boyfriend's eyes away? I don't know. I've only drank alcohol once before this, and I hated it. It was acidic and bitter, and it did more harm than help. I guess that's just my way of solving problems I can't find the answer to: I try to numb the paintful effects of the problem instead of trying to figure out a way to avoid it altogether. I'm stupid, aren't I?

Well, part of it is Kouji's fault, too. If he hadn't done that to me - if he hadn't even showed up after Sakura died - I would never be this way. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. Just when I'd found a way to be happy, he cames stomping back into my life? Why can't he leave me alone?

I ache all over. My back hurts, my calves are cramping, my joints are stiff, and my eyes burn as if they have been invaded by fire. The feeling is just like after Kouji left me that night. Why can’t my past ever seem to stay in the past? It always has to come to haunt me just when I think I’m happy.

What can I do? Someone, tell me what to do.

(ooc: Depression and alcohol does not mix. He'll regret it in the morning after he's calmed down. >_>)

Strange but happy morning ^_^

2008-02-17T23:17:24Z

I woke up this morning in a bed that was not my own...And in a room that was also not my own. But somehow, I ended up waking with the biggest smile on my face. Even though I don't remember much from last night, the important parts did stick in my head. ^_^

Anyways, I should probably get started on my communications essay. Ugh, I think it's a problem when I like doing papers for my minor more than I like doing things for my major.

Kajimoto - I'm so sorry for passing out on you last night. Is your tongue okay? You were still asleep when I crept back to my room this morning, and I didn't want to wake you.

Jirou - Come over some time. I want to talk to you.

If anyone is fluent in Chinese around here, I'm in serious need of help. I'm supposed to be translating these tapes into Japanese for class, and I'm at a complete loss over the idioms on the tape. I keep hearing something along the lines of "killing people without seeing blood," but I'm guessing it is not to be taken literally.

sigillum_veri @ 2008-02-15T07:06:00

2008-02-15T12:08:43Z

Why didn't anyone tell me how wonderful a feeling it is to be happy? Not just happy for the sake of others, but truly happy. It really is amazing.

This Valentine's Day was probably one of the better ones I've had in a while. Or ever, really. ^_^

Wedding meme, taken from Yukimura-kun

2008-02-13T00:20:25Z

How horribly traditionalist of you, Sanada, to wear a tuxedo to our wedding~ ;D

Glue is sticky...

2008-02-11T22:51:18Z

Why didn't anyone warn me that glue is not just adhesive, but adhesive to hair?

Note to self: Do not attempt crafts without supervision. Seriously, my hair is in little glue clumps. On that same note - to anyone I've exchanged comments with/met around campus, watch out for a handcrafted Valentine's Day bear in your mailbox, and note that it may not actually look like a bear.

Anyways, crafts just tend to be the product of sleep-deprivation due to long phone conferences. Sunday night I had the longest phone conference in the entire history of phones with my mother, Eiri, his girlfriend, and his girlfriend's parents. We have officially decided, after discussing it as if we were drawing out a peace treaty, for Eiri and his girlfriend to live outside the mansion on a trial basis. If we see that it becomes a problem, all bets are off, and Eiri will move back without a question.

Kajimoto - Leave Thursday noon open for me, okay?

Jirou - Do you think Sugoi would want a Valentine? I've got some leftover materials.

Ryou - Even though I don't know your brother, I made him a Valentine too while I was at it. I'll leave it in your mailbox.

To anyone good with electronics - Can someone please tell me how to turn off the alarm on my watch?

Thick, thick skulls...

2008-02-09T22:39:44Z

If anyone sees a sharp axe and a gun lying around somewhere, tell me about it, okay? I'm looking for some dangerous weapons.

sigillum_veri @ 2008-02-03T07:58:00

2008-02-03T13:28:36Z

I'm worried sick about Jirou. There's obviously something going wrong between him and that boy, whom I still don't completely trust. Kirihara-kun, the expression on his face in junior high, that predatory glare, it was too much like the way Kouji looked at me when he - whatever. It's not about me; it's about Jirou who's completely been out of character these past few days. Sometimes his smiles are facades, I know that, but now he's not even bothering to put his mask on, and that scares me. I want to talk to him, but I don't know how to when all he does is answering me with evasive replies and trying to change the subject. Isn't there anything I can do for him?

On top of all that Eiri wants to move out with his girlfriend, and my father is completely blowing capillaries over this, not that I can blame him, really. Eiri is young and in love - I completely understand - but he's young. He doesn't understand what it means to live alone yet. He doesn't understand what life is like without servants and maids. He's being completely irrational.

Even if I say that though, I can't help but be a little jealous of him. Even if he’s approaching something huge completely the wrong way, he’s at least got someone to do it wrong with. I guess that’s the good thing about having someone by your side. Sure, sometimes love is heartache and agony, but there are the other times when love is rainbows and sunshine and you’re the happiest person in the world. Why can’t I ever seem to find that? At this point, I just don’t want to be alone. I want someone – maybe just a friend – whom I can spend time with so I can stop feeling empty. Maybe I’m just a freak. I shouldn't mope and complain like this. I don't. I hate myself right now, but what can I do?

Jirou – Talk to me. No evasiveness this time. If I’m going to worry – and I am – I’ve at least got to have the information before I start spazzing out.

If anyone knows how to knock some sense into a younger sibling, please enlighten me. My younger brother, Eiri, who is still in senior high school, insists that he can completely stand on his own two feet and live outside the mansion with his girlfriend. Needles to say, our household has erupted into chaos as has his girlfriend’s side of the family.

Also, does anyone want to grab dinner sometime with me? ~~I’m tired of eating dehydrated noodles alone.~~

sigillum_veri @ 2008-01-30T15:48:00

2008-01-30T20:49:51Z

I guess since everyone else is in on this, I'll jump on the bandwagon as well. It can't hurt, right?

Post whatever you like anonymously.

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sigillum_veri @ 2008-01-29T17:04:00

2008-01-29T22:26:15Z

Out of all the jobs I could have taken on, why did I choose to tour guide again? Oh yes, it was because I though it'd be fun. I hate to use God's name in vain, especially since I'm an atheist, but oh, Jesus. What did I ever do to get those girls on my case? It's as if they haven't ever seen a guy with slightly effeminate looks before. I mean, sure, I can endure it for a tour or two, but they just don't seem to go away. You'd think they'd get tired of hearing the same tour over and over, but apparently not. They have apparently decided to cling onto me like leeches. Which goes without saying that these are not average fan girls - they are yaoi fan girls which equates to that they are rabid. ~~God only knows what I'd do if they ever find out more personal information on me. I question how long I'm going to live.~~

On a slightly less head-boggling note, my vision is finally clearing up ~~which might have something to do with the people who keep checking on me to make sure I'm getting sleep.~~ I mean, it still burns at times, but now instead of feeling like acid is in my eyes, it just feels like it's orange juice.

Oh, before I forget: does anyone want to take me shopping? I know I'm going to regret offering, but I think I've lost a bit of weight throughout the last few weeks what with the stress of work and school, so I need smaller shirts and pants because I'm swimming a little in the clothes I have now. And anyone who knows me knows that I have the incapability to shop for an acceptable wardrobe.

I'm sorry I unloaded so much on you when you came over the other day. I didn't mean to, but it just all came out.

I'm glad you got back okay. Talk to me if there's anything wrong?

Your Tenipuri Wedding
Name
DOB
Favourite Color
The Groom	Sanada Genichirou
Where You Got Married	School Cafeteria In The Middle of a Foodfight
What You Wore	Cake
What He Wore	Tuxedo
Who Opposed The Union	Echizen Ryoma
Who He is Having An Affair With	Oishi Syuichiro

This quiz by DSM - Taken 2341 Times.